Date Afterthoughts, part 2

I figured it out. As I pondered and spoke with a close friend about it, I figured it out. It's not about sex. It is about trust to a degree, not just in another person, but trust in ME. But overwhelmingly, it's about CONTROL. I am flipping out and running in circles because I have no ability to control the outcome of the situation. And by obsessing about this, I am actually giving the control to him in the situation. Look, I even said that I would not know how I felt about it until I saw how he acted afterwards. Does that sound like the empowered statement of a woman who has decided to reclaim herself? Um, no. I am terrified to make a "mistake". Well, my task right now is to decide what *I* want to do. Not what I think he wants me to do. Not what I think I'm obliged to do. And not to feel bad because it seems like something others would judge as the wrong thing to do. I like him. I'm going to decide what I want to do and I'm going to go with it and know that, whatever the consequence, I did what was right for me. I claimed my power and I followed through with what I wanted. *Phew*