Saturday, November 24, 2007


I used to almost never dream. It seems that lately I've been dreaming quite regularly but I almost never remember them. Often after I've been awake for a while, I'll have a glimpse of something and realize that I did have a dream that would be a good one to remember but I never get past that glimpse. I woke up this morning and I do remember something I dreamt about last night. I believe it was 2 different dreams. Each one very telling.

Dream #1: I wish I could remember how it began but it was about a snake. Someone told me about this snake and I want to say I think it might have been my brother but I might be confusing this with the other dream. In any case, the snake had an addiction to heroin and it would come around looking to be rubbed down with heroin which it then apparently soaked in through it's skin. Whoever it was who told me about it told me that he was an understanding snake and it was safe to interact with him. If I didn't have heroin, I could just rub the snake and it would appease him enough and he'd leave. So I wasn't worried when the snake came to me looking to feed it's addiction. I didn't have heroin so I just rubbed the snake, rubbed him down with water and talked to him. He was happy with that and he left. This happened several times until he came to me in a seemingly "strung out" kind of state, swollent, angry, demanding. I was about to try my usual method of placating him when he began to hiss and threaten me. The water rub down was not going to cut it. I had to go get him some heroin that minute. So I had to go to the street and find a way to purchase the drugs. I returned with it and rubbed him down. He appeared to go into a trance like state of being high and I also did. I don't know if it's pertinent but it seemed this all took place in a very stark white bathroom and there was water on the floor that he swam &/or slithered in.

Dream #2: I was in a hospital, working in the hospital. Somehow...the hospital ended up with a "gorilla infestation". I put that in quotes because I said it over and over and over in the dream. There is a gorilla infestation. It seemed to be all baby or at least smallish gorillas. They were everywhere. And they wanted/needed to be held or to just be in the presence of people. So they were surrounding us, all the people in the hospital, staff and patients alike. We were unable to work; we were sitting on beds with groups of gorillas just piled on top of us. Couldn't walk down the hall, go to the bathroom, care for anyone without being surrounded. I kept trying to talk to other doctors and the chief of staff about the problem and no one seemed concerned. I finally said I was going to call the AMA (American Medical Association) for assistance and I was told not to do that, that if we just did what the gorillas wanted, they would eventually go away. I kept trying to get any other doctor on my side to call an authority with me and no one would support me. In fact, they began to treat me like I didn't exist because they were so opposed to getting involved in reporting it. I managed to make it outside without any gorillas and I think I was in fact, my cousins husband and kids were there (they live in HI but I've never met them...weird) And the hospital seemed to be going through some sort of renovation and the crew from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition was there. They were about to do their big unveiling of the renovations and I pulled him aside and told him about the gorilla infestation. At this point in the dream, I realized that I was still in a panic about the gorillas but I hadn't seen one in a while so I began to wonder if they were still there or if the whole thing even happened at all. I felt stupid for gettin Ty all worked up about it. But at least he supported my decision to call for help. I snuck back into the hospital and got to an empty room which was my brothers room. I tried to look in a phone book to find the number for the AMA. I called an operator for assistance and requested the emergency # for the AMA. She told me I had to text the word "brother" to a certain # for emergency assistance. Then my brother actually walked in on me in his room and that is all I remember. rocket science needed to gather the meaning of either dream. They are filled with my brother. By the way, I should probably mention that tomorrow is my brother's birthday and I know my mother is getting together with him today. The first one is about my own addiction. The second about trying to get someone to hear me &/or help me in what happened with my brother. It struck me as I was writing dream #1...the stark white bathroom. I think that is the bathroom at my mothers new house. And the end of the dream, where I became high as well.....aahhhh, sweet dissociation. And dream #2, the hospital. My mother works in a hospital. In fact, this conjured up memories of a dream I had several years ago where I was attacked in a hospital and was trying to get someone to help me but everyone was bustling around like they didn't even see me. So I guess it's about my mother's unwillingness/inability to help me in the abuse.

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