Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Beyond Poop: Just Plain SHIT.

I'll spare you an image for this post. *smile*
I'm just in a really crappy (no pun intended) mood. It's been a trying time, for sure. Work has been so hectic and crazy. It seems like my In Box doubles on a daily basis and I simply can't do that much work. The 2 co-workers I depend on the most to help me just end up making more work for me. One because she is a self-centered, careless, unpleasant troll. The other because he is just an ass, really. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels here every day and for every step forward, I'm being pushed 2 steps back.

Leaving here yesterday, after a normally stressful day, I picked up DD at daycare. I go to sign her out and see she's not taken a nap. DD always naps at school so this is highly abnormal. Of course it happens on a Tuesday, which is my longest day because of choir rehearsal. Under any other circumstances, I may have skipped choir or just cut it short but we're preparing for our biggest performance of the year this coming Sunday. And I still have a sinus infection. The anti-biotics are not working as quickly as everyone assured me they would. So my voice is questionable for this performance. Stresses me out. I'm the "lead lead", the "top Diva" as I jokingly call it. Meaning there are 3 other women who sing the same part that I do but I'm the strongest voice and they count on me to lead my section. No pressure, though. :o)

So after I pick DD up, she is already whining at me in the car. We have to kill some time before choir and I don't have any errands to do this particular day. I tell DD I'd like to stop at the library. Noooooooooo, she whines; she doesn't want the library. I go anyway to discover they are closing in 5 minutes. Summer hours, I guess. So I say we can't go. Wwwaaaaaahhhhhhh, she cries; she wanted to go to the library. Tune her out...tune her out. I'm already feeling frazzled and numb. "ICE CREAM" the brilliant Mommy bursts out.....we'll go get a scoop of ice cream. Crying stops. We go get ice cream which DD plays with more than eats, drips it all over her dress, says she's done with it. She puts it in the garbage and then comes back & starts crying "I wasn't done!!!" Tune out, Tune out.

We get to choir (which is at my friends house, BTW) DD poops in her undies. She's wearing a dress and I've now learned not to let her wear nothing underneath after the office fiasco last week. Taking T's advice, I just say "okay, let's get you cleaned up." I clean her up and realize I've packed PJ's but no more undies and no diaper (which I still have her sleep in b/c of night accidents). So I tell her "Listen, we have no more clothes with us so if you need to go potty again, tell Mommy. Otherwise you're going to have to stay in poop clothes til we get home." She says okay.

Next I knock over my very substantial pendaflex file of music, which is all alphabetized. It shoots out across the room and I have to bend down (recall I've got the sinus infection so bending down is excruciating) and pick it all up then shuffle through it all and re-file it. Few minutes later, DD informs me she has now pooped in her PJ's. I say "Well, I'm sorry you chose to do that instead of using the potty. We have no other clothes, so you're going to have to live with it til we leave." I would have let her run around naked but I was worried she'd poop on their floor. She's crying. All my choir-mates are doing their best to tolerate her stink. I was horrified. Still trying to go on singing but having breakdowns instead. I had to stand away from everyone else b/c I was getting so stressed that being in a tight group of people was bringing on a panic attack. I had a hard time controlling my crying and I kept thinking this is when I miss having a boyfriend....when I just want someone who loves me to listen to me and give a hug. Then DD starts crying. She says she needs to poop on the potty now. I suspect it's a lie/ploy but I take her upstairs to the bathroom anyway. Lucky for me, there are some spare kids clothes hanging around at my friends house and I'm able to grab a pair of sweats that (sort-of) fit DD. The poop has worked it's way down both legs to her knees and as I take the PJ pants off, it smears all the way down & over her feet as well as getting all over me, under my fingernails. I throw her in their tub and wipe her down with TP the best I can then wash her off in the tub. Not realizing this tub has drainage problems until there is a pool of poopy water in the tub. I'm sitting on the floor and I go to get up, leaning on the edge of the tub, slip on the wet edge & smash my ribs into the side of the tub. Cry. Get the plunger & slowly help the tub drain out. Then clean the tub so I don't leave poop in my friends bath. We don't leave choir til almost 10. DD is awake until 10:30 and frankly I just couldn't wait for her to fall asleep. I needed the reprieve.

I was just so exhausted but still had dishes to put away, lunches to make. I slept restlessly, a battle of weary body, busy brain. This morning was a battle with DD, being that she was so over-tired. I love her more than anything but just was thrilled to leave her at daycare today. Of course, I get to work 20 minutes late, thanks to morning battles, and immediately there are emergencies, urgents and a tiff with the co-worker who is an ass. I broke down & had to shut my door. I feel very disconnected, physically, right now. Oh. lightbulb....time for grounded breathing. I did do my breathing and I came up with 2 prevailing thoughts: #1 - No Control. That's what is making me nuts. I feel entirely out of control. #2: HOLY potatoes my sinuses HURT!! :o{


Maia said...

Wow, sorry you had such a stressful day. Sounds like you handled it pretty well though - better than I could have! Thanks for sharing, and here's to hoping tomorrow is better for you.

Strong and determined said...

I admire the way you handled such a stressful situation. Many people would get so angry and overwhelmed that they wouldn't handle things as well as you did. Two of my three children had this exact same problem. Talking with a specialist, I learned that there are quite a few children who do - but NO ONE talks about it. And when you are working with this issue - I think you NEED to talk about it.

Good job for handling things so well, and for getting the message out there: There are kids who deal with "poop" problems, and it is definitely hard on their parents!!

Tamara said...

I commend you for how well you handled all of this. You are doing a wonderful job of being a patient mother. It does sound like it was a horrendous day. Here is hoping that the next few are much, much better.