Sleeping with a Tricycle?

First let me say Happy New Year! And assure you I've not fallen off the face of the blogosphere!

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Okay, so I'm usually the one who helps everyone else interpret their dreams. This time, I'm stumped on my own dream.

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It took place in my current home. There was an overall sense of panic. I woke up and went into Bianca's room and realized her bed had been stolen. She was still in her room but she was wrapped up in a tarp (since I suppose the blankets were taken with the bed) and huddled in the corner in a fetal position. In fact, I don't think I ever saw her but just assumed it was her. Her room was cold, gray and wet. In fact it seemed like the room, or at least the floor, was wet concrete. My mother was in the house and I was frantic that someone had broken in despite the alarm. And I could not figure out why they would take the bed of all things. I was really, really hung up on the alarm. I kept saying it over and over. "But the alarm! How did they break in with the alarm??" When I returned to my own bedroom, there was a tricycle in the bed and I realized I'd been sleeping with it, unaware.

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Okay, so I know that at least a bicycle represents balance in life, or a need for balance. I wonder if the fact that it's a tricycle suggests that I'm still a neophyte with the ability to balance my life? Ohhhhh, oh oh. Something coming to fruition in my brain.....Bianca in the corner is me. Breathe, breathe, breathe......starting to feel the edges of a panic attack. Okay....I was having so much trouble putting this together. Beds represent intimacy or sexuality. I couldn't place that in my dream because I have no intimate life right now!! But Bianca is me.....this is speaking to my sexuality being stolen from me as a child. Making more sense now. This is why my mother was in the dream. This is why I couldn't understand how the alarm didn't stop the "thief". This is why it was a tricycle in my bed. "Bianca's" wet room: To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. To dream that water is rising up in your house, signifies your struggles and overwhelming emotions.

Alrightee, then.....that took 15 minutes to write out and completely sapped me of all energy when I finally put it together. Writing is an amazing tool when it comes to dream interpretation. Any other thoughts welcome......

Coming back to this much later, after having more time to think about it.....I'm sure that this is some message about balancing (the tricycle) my inner child with my present day self. Bianca's bed was stolen but she was still there, huddled in the corner. My bed was there, but with the bike in it.

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I came back to add, after proof-reading,...... and I'm going to cry as I type this.....it is only when I have dreams like this that I can maybe slightly accept that I was really abused. When something happens in the part of my mind that I can't control then I maybe can let in the belief that I'm not crazy, or making this up, or making too much out of what happened. Isn't that so sad that I'm so conditioned to believe that it's not so bad?? That after 30+ years, I still struggle to believe that it did really happen and that it really did affect me??

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A second addendum....I'm at home now. I wrote that just as I was leaving work. I got in my car and I felt a surge of emotion. My usual protocol is to remind myself of why it's a bad time for me to feel emotions....on my way somewhere, need to concentrate on something else, in the middle of something "more important", and I'll turn up the radio and busy my brain elsewhere. Today, I turned the radio off and breathed into the feelings. I cried. Not for long but enough to make me feel I'd accomplished something. I cried and I allowed myself to grieve for being robbed of something precious and irreplaceable. I realize that there is nothing more important that taking those opportunities when they come. By feeling my feelings and allowing my grief, I give myself the best gift of all which is healing.