Saturday, February 7, 2009


This is from something my T gave me a while back. Thought it would be a good reminder for me and maybe helpful to someone else in the process. I used to have a terrible problem with what my T called "storytelling" where I would let my thoughts completely run away with me into a paranoid fantasy or where I'd rerun something through my mind over and over again and beat myself up over it. Fortunately, I've been able to really get that under control with a single word, which is "Unproductive!" Still, I have yet to master things like allowing thoughts to come into my mind without pushing them away.


JUST NOTICE THE EXPERIECE. Notice without getting caught in the experience. Experience without reacting to your experience.
Have a "TEFLON MIND" letting experiences, feelings and thoughts come into your mind and also slip right out.
CONTROL your attention but not what you see. Push away nothing. Cling to nothing.
Be like a guard at the palace gate. ALERT to every thought, feeling and action that comes through the gate of your mind.
Step inside yourself and observe. WATCH your thoughts coming and going, like clouds in the sky. Notice each feeling rising and falling like waves in the ocean. Notice exactly what you are doing.
Notice what comes through your SENSES ~ your eyes, ears, nose, skin, tongue. See others' actions and expressions. "Smell the roses"

PUT WORDS ON THE EXPERIENCE. When a feeling or thought arises, or you do something, acknowledge it. For example, say in your mind, "Sadness has just enveloped me" or "stomach muscles tightening" or "A thought of 'I can't do this' has come into my mind"
PUT EXPERIENCES INTO WORDS. Describe toyourself what is happening. Put a name on your feelings. Call a thought just a thought, a feeling just a feeling. Don't get caught in context.

Enter into your experiences. Let yourself get involved involved in the moment, letting go of ruminating. BECOME ONE WITH YOUR EXPERIENCE, COMPLETELY FORGETTING YOURSELF.
ACT INTUITIVELY from wise mind. Do just what is needed in each situation.
Actively PRACTICE your skills as you learn them until they become part of you, where you use them without self-consciousness. PRACTICE: 1. Changing harmful situations, 2. Changing your harmful reactions to situations, 3. Accepting yourself and situations as they are.


See but DON'T EVALUATE. Take a non-judgmental stance. Just the facts. Focus on the "what", not the "good" or "bad", the "terrible" or "wonderful", the "should" or "should not".
UNGLUE YOUR OPINIONS from the facts, from the "who, what, when, where."
ACCEPT each moment, each event as a garden accepts both the rain and the sun and each leaf that falls upon it.
ACKNOWLEDGE the helpful, the wholesome, but don't judge it. Acknowledge the harmful, the unwholesome, but don't judge it.
When you find yourself judging, DON'T JUDGE YOUR JUDGING.

DO ONE THING AT A TIME. When you are eating, eat. When you are walking, walk. When you are bathing, bathe. When you are working, work. When you are in a group, or a conversation, focus your attention on the very moment you are in with the other person. When you are thinking, think. When you are worrying, worry. When you are planning, plan. When you are remembering, remember. Do each thing with all of your attention.
If other actions or thoughts or strong feelings distract you, LET GO OF DISTRACTIONS and get back to what you are doing ~ again, and again, and again.
CONCENTRATE YOUR MIND. If you find you are doing two things at once, stop and go back to one thing at a time.

FOCUS ON WHAT WORKS. Do what needs to be done in each situation. Stay away from "fair" and "unfair," "right" and wrong," "should" and "should not."
PLAY BY THE RULES. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
Act as SKILLFULLY as you can, meeting the needs of the situation you are in. Not the situation you wish you were in, not in the one that is just; not in the one that is more comfortable.
Keep an eye on YOUR OBJECTIVES in the situation and do what is necessary to achieve them.
LET GO of vengeance, useless anger, and righteousness that hurts you and doesn't work.


jumpinginpuddles said...

very wise thoughts some fo wehich we are putting into practice and others we could start doing

Marj aka Thriver said...

Hhhmmmm...I've been saying lately, "That's not productive!" Interesting. I like the idea of the "Teflon Mind." Good stuff. Would you consider submitting this for The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse in the Healing & Therapy section? We've got another carnival edition coming up in March with another new host. Just waiting on the exact schedule date. Thanks for considering and thanks for sharing such helpful ideas.

Rising Rainbow said...

Practicing new skills sure makes good sense.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Thanks for letting us use this post for The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. I read the post again and even more great ideas jumped out at me! Cool!