Snowball Effect

I'm not sure when the change took place. I used to be a morning person. Maybe it was after my DD was born. Or even maybe when I was pregnant and could have slept for 18 hours a day if I didn't have to work. I'm not happy about it, whenever it happened.

This week has been particularly bad. I feel like there is some sort of disaster every morning. Monday was my own fault because I jam packed Sunday full of things to do. I know that I don't like busy Sundays. I was up late. And then it takes me a long time to unwind before I can sleep. So Monday I was just exhausted when I awoke. I couldn't keep my eyes open while driving and I resorted to stabbing myself in the wrist with a T-Pin all the way to work just to stay awake. Pretty. Tuesday AM, DD woke up with a massive case of pinkeye (thanks to Sunday's playdate, argh). So I ended up bringing her to work with me for a few hours til we could get into the Dr. Weds was fighting a slapping, writhing DD trying to get drops into her eyes, then a deer bounced off my car on the drive in (requiring a pull over & a calm down...thank goodness, no damage to the car). And then a mile from daycare, DD throws up in the car. Not much and thankfully she had a blanket on her lap that caught the majority of it. But again, pull over, make sure she's okay. Trying to assess if it was coughing related or if she's sick. So I spent some extra time with her at daycare before I left for work to make sure she wasn't really sick. This morning, more fighting with eyedrops. DD doesn't at all appreciate the fact that I sing "Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting" while I'm trying to give her the drops, LOL!! But it helps me keep my sanity. I wanted to start the car (covered in ice) while I got our stuff together but I could not find the keys anywhere. I mean anywhere!!! I ripped everything apart for 20 minutes while my DD wanted to "help" which translates to interrupt my search to play. I was on my last frayed nerve. I *finally* found the stupid keys in the SINK!?!?!?!?!???

Finally leaving the house 30 minutes late, I believe these saved many lives this morning:

If you've never heard of Rescue Remedy, go check out the website. Or check out the Bach website for all the homeopathic flower essence products. I chewed down a couple of these when I got in the car so that I didn't have a panic attack. Once I began to calm down, I was thinking about mornings and thinking there must be something I am doing that's contributing to morning craziness. There must be some energy that I'm putting out that is summoning such chaos. And that's when I started thinking about the Snowball Effect. My house is a disaster. I swear it never stays clean for more than 2 days. And that overwhelms me....I can't think straight amidst clutter and disorganization. When I can't think straight, I waste time because I stand there doing nothing, trying to collect my thoughts. When I waste time, it takes me longer to do projects than it should and either I don't get them done or I stay up way too late or, more often, both of those! I stay up late, I don't get enough sleep, I wake up overtired which then contributes to my not being able to think straight. And so it goes on and on and on.

I need to find some sort of personal Feng Shui for myself! I need to declutter, reorganize and commit to keeping it that way. And, I need to quit feeling like a loser that I need some time to myself at home on Sundays. It's what I need. And my whole week suffers when I don't have it. If I can't avoid a Sunday event, then I need to make sure I compensate for it in some other way either on Saturday or Monday. I need to just commit to meeting my own needs instead of judging them and trying to ignore them. It's okay to take care of me.