Thursday, October 2, 2008

Quick note about a dream

I'm adding this mostly so I can remember to mention it to T. I've been able to sleep so much this week. It's a beautiful thing. It also leads to more dreaming. I don't remember much of my dreams. I do recall having one dream that I was pregnant. And another dream all about a penguin! I had another the other night and I was trying to purchase something. First I gave the clerk a $50 gift card that I had for the store and she ran it through and then I paid cash for the same $10 item. I wanted the $10 put back on the gift card and I was flipping out that she couldn't do it. As I thought about this dream later in the morning (with my cup of coffee on the front porch overlooking the lake....*sigh*), I think this dream was signifying my "overpayment" from my abuse. I have paid and paid and paid again for the things that were done to me. And I can't get that back, ever. But I can walk away....stop fighting with the clerk about it! Know that it's over and done with and I can quit wasting my energy trying to recover that which is already "spent"; that measly $10. I still have "$40" left on the card. :o) ie: I still possess more than I have lost. It's okay to walk away. It's okay to leave it behind.


jumpinginpuddles said...

youre absolutely right we do overcompensate in feelings we need to pay back all the time. We hadnt thoguht about that

Strong and determined said...

What a great post! Thanks for reminding those of us who have paid and overpaid our dues for the abuse we suffered. We can let it go and spend the rest of our $40 - YEAH!