Tuesday, April 1, 2008

What, exactly, do mothers know???

I think I'm pissed off. No wait....let me try that again. I'm pissed off. Yesterday, DD said she wanted to call Gramma (my mother) on the phone. DD has a bad habit of wandering away from the phone, playing games with it, hiding it in drawers, etc while my mother is on the phone. So when she said she wanted to call Gramma, I questioned her to be sure she really felt like talking. I called my mother at work and DD is stone silent, grabs the phone and starts using it like a battering ram against her cup of milk. Thanks to quick reflexes, I was able to catch it and stop it from spilling. But I took the phone away from DD who proceeded to throw a screaming fit. My mother was her usual over-sympathetic, cooing, unhelpful self. She said "I didn't realize DD did that with you." She is 3, Mom. And I'm her parent. Of COURSE she throws tantrums with me. Criminy. It's her job in life right now to test me and push the boundaries. I'm sure it makes you more comfortable to believe she's a super-human, always pleasant Stepford Baby. Get over it because it ain't the case.

So today, I have an email from her that says:
Hi there,
How are you? How is Miss (DD)? What was happening? The joys of motherhood do outweigh the fussy days just not in ''the moment''. You are a wonderful Mom, mother's know. Love you both,

I'm sorry.....did I look to you for encouragement about being a mother?? Did I even give off the slightest exasperation when DD was pitching the fit? Well, not at DD. I was cool as a cuke with her. I'm used to this game. Perhaps I did give off anger at my mother and she misread it as being about DD. I don't need YOUR 2 cents, TYVM. And...more importantly...."mothers know"??? I want to say what the F**K do "mothers" know? Do they know when their sons are incestuous rapists?? Do they know that? Do they know that their husband is beating and humiliating their young daughter? Do mothers know that their teen daughters have eating disorders, depression, are promiscuous to the point of danger, are cutting themselves daily and crying themselves to sleep at night, every night, with an empty pit in their stomachs?? Do mothers know that? Yeah, I didn't think so.

If all you've got to offer me is that mothers know when other mothers are good ones, just keep it to yourself. Spare me your maternal pep talk. I'm all set with that.


Tink said...

I'm rolling my eyes at your mom. My mother is good for that kind of advice too- usually she'll say: That's how boys are. Not that I would know since I had 3 girls.

Guess what mom, girls are like this too. I feel like she's always putting boys down.

Sounds like you handle DD nice. I am really trying with DS. 2 1/2 is hard...and I'm afraid of what 3 will bring...

Enola said...

Blech- I roll my eyes every time I get advice from my mother too.