Monday, April 28, 2008
It's 9:30am....is the day over yet?
I feel like I've been beaten down already this morning. Really it started yesterday. I had/have so much to get done at home and I didn't get even a fraction of it done yesterday. That frustrates me to start off with. But DD was really clingy. Potty training has gone really well and she hasn't had any accidents in over 2 weeks but she's still holding "#2" for days at a time. She was really whiney yesterday. I know she had to go badly but every time she got on the potty, she would cry that she didn't want to go. I gave her prunes, I pumped her up with water, I started her back on the laxative the Pedi RXed for her, I let her soak in the bath for well over an hour. No avail. She was crying and just generally miserable. She didn't nap and I tried to put her to bed early but she kept wanting to try the potty. I know it was a ploy but I knew she also had to go.
I'm really not a patient person, by nature, so it's really tough for me to wait this all out and continue to be pleasant and supportive. I just SO want to believe that logic can work on this 3 year old!! Anyway, I finally put her to bed and she was whining in her sleep. She woke up several times in the night crying. Wanted me to carry her to the potty. She kept saying she only had to pee. I was starting to worry that her time in the bath gave her a UTI. She wanted me to hold her in bed (oh yeah, she came to my bed around 11:30pm) which I did even though I was running later for work by the second. Finally I got in the shower and then I could hear her sobbing from my bed. I called her into the bathroom and she said she wanted to try potty again. There I am naked & soapy trying to help her. She says she wants to go, gets on the potty and then cries that she doesn't want to go. I had to rinse off & finish my shower with her crying hysterically. Relaxing! (I should mention that my morning showers, while she sleeps, are one of my "essentials"...it's where I breathe, meditate, mentally prepare for my day, etc.) And so it continued.....she crying, me trying to get us ready, she saying she doesn't want to go to school, on & on & on. She kept hiding under her bed with her binky. When we went downstairs to get our stuff together & go, she turned into Question Girl. Under my feet & touching everything. "What's this? Why is it that? What does it do? How does it work? Can you show me? But why is it called this? Why is it this color? Can I play with it? Why not? Can I bring it in the car? Is that coffee? Do you like coffee? But I don't like coffee. Why do you like coffee? Is that enough? Why not? Do you want to make more? Why are you putting ice in it? Can I see? Can I put ice in it? Can you put ice in my cup? Why are you opening the freezer? I want to open the freezer. What is that? Can I play with that?....." With eyes glazed over and blood pressure somewhere in the stroke-level stratosphere, I'm sure, we're finally ready to go. So I set the alarm, at which point we have 60 seconds to get out the door. And naturally as soon as I open the door to run out, she sees something inside that she wants, runs to get it then stands at the door not wanting to go outside and starts to cry. So I open the door and then she starts screaming that she wanted to open the door and tries to pull it shut so that she can open it and I have to grab her arm and basically shove her out the door as she's screaming so that the alarm doesn't go off. And then she's outside in the rain screaching at me and refusing to get in the car or in her seat as I get drenched trying to keep my cool with her, reminding myself she doesn't feel good.
She fell asleep in the car 3/4 of the way to school and so I had to wake her up, juggle carrying her with all her stuff and trying to keep an umbrella over us to get inside where she is uber clingy and doesn't want me to go. Finally I manage to talk her into sitting with one of her teachers for a story and as I'm leaving, I see her sad little face crying and saying "Don't go!" And so naturally, I cried all the way to work. Once I got here, I called daycare to make sure she was alright. Well, that was a mistake. They tell me she is in the corner crying for me and won't let anyone near her. It is the worst feeling in the world knowing my baby doesn't feel well and wants nothing more than to be at home with me and I'm not there for her.