Feeling of being exposed to emotional hurt, being taken advantage of, or abused.
Feeling of being fragile, weak, or susceptible to emotional pain and suffering.
Feeling of being trapped or imprisoned in a situation where your feelings and rights are ignored.
Opening of oneself to the possibility of being taken advantage of by another person in a relationship.
Relating of your innermost feelings and fears to others with the possibility that they might use such feelings and fears against you.
Basic insecurity and lack of self-confidence
Lack of trust in self and others
Fear of the unknown or of uncharted waters
Lack of forgiveness and inability to forget past hurts, injustices, and pain
Denial, unresolved grief, self-deceit, lack of personal awareness, or refusal to face life the way it is.
Discomfort with change, lack of acceptance of change, and unwillingness to change
Unwillingness to unmask one's true emotions or reactions to life
Lack of acceptance of self for who I am, what I am able to do, and who I am able to be
How does the avoidance of vulnerability manifest itself?
Constantly being on the offensive, attacking, blaming, or correcting others; keeping the spotlight on others and off themselves.
Avoiding participation in any form of "helping'' situation, such as an emotional support group, individual, or counseling.
"Looking good'' and wearing a mask of "strength'' and "togetherness.''
Pleasing or placating others to keep their true moods, feelings, or pain from being probed.
Closing others out or shutting down themselves to put emotions on the rocks, freezing themselves.
Silence, a lack of feedback to others, non-communicativeness, keeping true feelings hidden.
Lacking emotional language, lacking the ability to tune into their own feelings of discomfort in emotionally laden conversations.
Shyness, a hesitancy to meet new people, being a ``wall flower'' in social gatherings due to fear of rejection or fear of disapproval.
Resistance to change, to altering habitual patterns of behavior, or to looking at things in life from a different perspective.
Playing games that involve knowing the rules of body language in every form of social interaction, with the resultant performance of routines and scripts that fit the ``game.''
What are some beliefs of people who avoid being vulnerable?
Always be strong in your interactions with others!
Men never cry!
Being over-emotional is a feminine trait that leads to becoming an hysteric!
I am never going to let my guard down again!
I may be down, but I'll never let them know it.!
I have been hurt by others in the past, and I'll never let others hurt me again!
Spilling the beans (of my emotions) is always risky business!
You are bound to get hurt if you open yourself up to another person.
Dragging up the past serves no purpose.
It is nobody's business how I feel!
No one should have the right to probe into my emotions or feelings!
Nothing can help me overcome the pain I feel!
I mind my own business and expect others to mind their own business!
The old way of doing things is the best way!
Maintain the status quo!
Trust no one!
I have no problems and even if I did, I'd never tell anyone!
There is nothing to be gained by my breaking down emotionally!
No one respects a weak person!
I don't care how you live your life and I expect you to not care how I live mine.
Fear and discomfort do not kill you. They are simply unpleasant feelings. The absence of fear is never the goal. The goal is to tolerate the fear, eventually accept its presence in your life, and push on despite. Do not make the mistake of designing a life void of fear and uncomfortable situations. If you do you will cease to grow and will miss out on the bountiful rewards on the other side of that fear. Fear accompanies the unknown. If you have not had any unknown for a while then you could be guilty of complete and total stagnation. All success in life involves coping with fear and pushing through its grip. That is called growth. Growth can seem painful at times, but there is often something very rewarding at the other end of the struggle.