Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Numerology: A light hearted post

So on the radio yesterday, the morning show I listen to featured a Numerologist. She was doing sample readings and people were saying how accurate she was. So I went to a Numerology website where they give a free sample reading with your name and date of birth.

It is so completely inaccurate, I am cracking up!! I'm only including a very small amount of the reading because it's quite long.

Your life path number is number 1, and so you are probably also blessed with a great drive and burning desire to be "number one" at whatever you do. A little bit, I think that plays into the desire to appear "Perfect". This is pretty much the end of anything remotely true.

Unfortunately, your competitive spirit sometimes gets you into trouble with friends and family, as work and ambition take precedence over emotional relationships. Ummm, no....definitely not.

You have been born into wealth and privilege and coddled by lucky circumstances into becoming "great" in some way. The number 1 is the number of the hero. HA!! Coddled by lucky circumstances?!?!?!? Yeah...hooray for my privileged upbringing!

You are also usually blessed with good health, vitality and endless inspiration. Yes, because panic attacks, depression and addictions go hand in hand with "good health"

Your number is very connected with the divine and you often feel especially connected to God. All I can say to this one is.......BWAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(Okay, this part is true....) Many number 1's spend their early years learning not to be dependent on others as fate throws difficult relationships and situations their way. That is very characteristic of number ones whose life lessons are usually about "letting go", "releasing control" and "overcoming great odds."

As a number 1 you may also need to watch a tendency towards arrogance or over confidence. Yeah....my arrogance is a real problem. I'm downright cocky. (eyeroll)

Being a number 1, you are also likely to achieve some measure of fame in your life. This is because you are destined to be "the one that is loved by all" as opposed to "the one that is loved by one other." It sometimes takes number ones a lifetime to realize that being adored by many is not such a bad thing. "I'd like to thank my fans, without whom none of this would be possible......."

Your Potential Natural Talents and Abilities
You are at the height of your self-expression when you feel that others are experiencing "being high on life" like you are. One of your personal goals may be to uplift humanity or spread joy or enthusiasm wherever you go. And I make sure to carry my spankies & pom poms with me all the time!! Gimme a "A"!!

As you are a great innovator your career choice may be unorthodox in some way. Presently, I am barricaded in my workshop with my lightbulb hat on, hunched over vials of potions. "I think today, I will reverse Global Warming......"

You consider the accumulation of experiences to be your greatest wealth so you may choose a career in which you travel a lot so you can meet as many people and encounter as many different kinds of situations as possible. If, by this, you mean that I would prefer to become a hermit in my own home and have as little contact with the outside world as possible, then sure....you hit it on the head!

You also have a natural dexterity that makes it easy for you to learn and play music. Threes are often blessed with a natural sense of comic timing as well as rhythm. This makes you an excellent dancer. I took ONE piano lesson and never went back because it was a nightmare. As for the rhythm & dancing.....I'm pretty sure the term "White Girl Overbite" came to be while someone was watching me attempt to dance. Really, my 3 year old is embarassed by me.

You rarely take anything that happens to you in life personally, a trait that frustrates your enemies to no end. This ability to let stuff "roll off your back" serves you well in the many complex emotional situations that threes often get into. Riiiiight. Because that's what I've been saying for the past 100 posts.....eh, I don't worry about any of this crap. Let it roll right off my back.

You relate better to large groups of people then you do one on one. Those large groups DO tend to congregate around the wall flower huddled in the corner most of the time.....

As threes are often no shows in their family lives and rarely have time to pay attention to their lovers they are likely to show their affection by giving lavish gifts. Was it wrong to buy my boyfriends spaceships and private islands because I was busy inventing sunshine and dogs??

As you adore being in the spotlight you probably dress to impress. Either you dress in the latest trendy fashions or in an eccentric fashion that makes it impossible for others not to notice you. And my millions of adoring fans will be able to see me on the runway at New York fashion week setting the trends with my "Frugal Single Mom" line......complete with authentic wear & tear, plunging necklines held together with safety pins.

The ultimate achievement of your life expression is to change the consciousness of others so that they aspire to their highest ideals. One way that you do this by continually reminding them through your actions that these ideals can be manifested through kind and wise action on earth. Ummm...well, I recycle....

What You Desire To Be, To Have, and To Do In Your Life
Your soul urge is to be the best at everything that you do. You play to win and when you don't win you suffer a serious crisis of faith. It makes you think that there is no God. I was SURE it was Mrs. Peacock in the Library with the Revolver. Why oh why has God forsaken me???!?!?!?

Most ones are born into lives that encourage their personal development and in particular the expression of their free will. Uhhhhhhhh......

In ancient cultures flaunting your talents and wealth was thought to attract "the evil eye." In your case the evil eye is often others desire to see your pride crushed or watch you take a big fall off your pedestal. You on the other hand don't understand why others can't see that you are special. Oh, I'm fairly sure there are MANY others who see me as "special".....

In your universe you are the sun and everything and everybody else rotates around you. Damn straight....dance little puppets, dance for me!!!!!

Your eagerness to be recognized for your talents sometimes turns you into a braggart. This often incurs the wrath of others, as it seems that you really are concerned with taking care of number one and nobody else. The only "number one" I've been dealing with was potty training my DD. If that incites anyone's wrath, they can feel free to come change diapers for me.

If you feel you are a failure you also risk the temptation of escaping into addiction or fantasy. You may get involved in troubling situations with emotionally disturbed people so that you can feel like the hero by rescuing them. THAT pretty accurately describes my love life.

The conflict that you face is the age-old battle between your will and what fate has to offer. When bad things happen to number ones they tend to give up entirely. This is part of a damaging all or nothing mentality. This type of attitude often puts you in situations that are humiliating as you often persist out of pure stubbornness even though all signs point to eventual failure. What are we saying here? I should give up my plans for world domination?? Blast!!!!

1 comment:

Enola said...

OMG I'm cracking up. Your sense of humor is hilarious.

So I had to do it too.
My number is 4 (hmm, my lucky number) Mine though was pretty much on target!

your Life Path of 4 ...


You are a trustworthy, practical and down to earth individual who places ethics above materialism and greed. (YES - although being richer would be fine)

You are a humanist at heart, and your life path focus is usually related to manifesting the greater philosophical ideals into practical reality. For this reason your expectations of yourself and others are unusually high. (YES- very high expectations fo self)



You are a doer, more than a talker and nothing annoys you more than an individual that does not follow through on what he or she says he is going to do. You don't suffer fools gladly and have no problem swiftly eliminating people who you consider being a liability from your life. You especially have no tolerance for silly, neurotic or shallow people. (ABSOLUTELY)

One of the problems of being a four is that you expect others to be of demanding of themselves as you are of yourself. It is painful for you to realize that others simply don't have the same perseverance, dedication and devotion to improving the world that you do. Many 4's are also extremists, tending to be very right wing or very left wing in their thinking. (TRUE - except I do have the ability to see both sides of things)

Your incredible stamina, perseverance and will power allow you to accomplish ten times the amount of work that anyone else can in one day. Others often realize this about 4 and take advantage of your almost superhuman qualities. Your organization and planning skills are exemplary and for that reason you are a fantastic strategist, administrator, project manager. You are a perfect example of how "slow and steady wins the race." (YES definitelY)

However, it is part of your life path to learn how to delegate responsibility and let others take care of themselves every now and then! Many 4's are unhappy campers by the end of their lives simply because they chose the path of the hard-working martyrs while others reaped the benefits of all of their pioneering work. To avoid this you should always spare yourself the trouble of always making things right and let others be accountable for their own mistakes. (WORKING on this)

Often your tenacity and strong will is perceived as stubbornness. (ABSOLUTELY)

Fours often don't make good leaders as others see them as too autocratic and demanding. Of all of the numbers, you are most prone to such disorders as obsessive compulsive disorder and being addicted to perfection. (OH YES)

The plus side of this is that many of you own dream homes that are spic and span from top to bottom. You are also an excellent landscaper and interior decorator. (NOT AT ALL)

You choose your friends and business partners wisely and function best in a team of two. You may have few close friends during your lifetime but the ones that you do have are loyal for life. (YEP)

You are dependable and trustworthy and more willing than most people to sacrifice what you have for greater good of all. Those who witness this are often touched by your kindness. (NOT SO MUCH)

The highest calling of your soul is to learn about everything scientific and esoteric. Your thirst for knowledge is only quenched by copious hours alone spent studying your pet subjects. This can be any subject as many of you aspire to have brains that are the equivalent of Alexandrian libraries (NO - I hate science but I do enjoy knowledge)

You are usually a dreamer rather than a doer and best suit an occupation that allows you to sit and conceptualize to your heart's desire. Money means nothing to you as all of your riches come from books and learning however many of you often end up in well paid positions simply because you are brilliant and excel in school. (NOT)

Your tendency to isolate yourself can also lead to distorted perceptions of reality and cognitive disorders such as obsessive compulsion and paranoia. ( OH YES)

As you are not that concerned with sex your libido which is often badly suppressed may also express itself in odd ways. It may manifest as a mania about a topic or obsession with cleanliness. Like a pure bred horse, you need a practical-minded steady companion to reign you in when your imagination goes wild. (LOL)

You may also have a tendency to get stuck on one person whether the love is requited or not. You may idealize this person and see them as a symbol rather than who they really are. In romance, you really do need to watch a tendency to project the qualities of a god or goddess on a quite ordinary person. (YEP that's me)

Living too much inside your head might present a lifetime's worth of challenge for you. Your cool personality often makes it difficult for you to make friends. Opportunities often pass you by because your brilliance makes you forgetful. The best way to draw your soul out of the either and back down into your body is to work out and exercise regularly. Long walks alone in nature can help satisfy your need for both solitude and grounding. (WHO ME? Live inside my head?)