Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Aint that Karma a b!%@#??

So my mother calls me this morning just to tell me something about my brother (one of my abusers). First of all, I don't know why she thinks I'm interested. Even though (evil snicker), I do secretly love to hear of all the bad things that happen to him. She tells me that he had money stolen out of a PayPal account. Well, first of all, I find that hard to believe because PayPal is an extremely secure site. And unless he fell for one of the spam emails and provided his login info to someone without thinking, I dunno. I think he plays my Mom for sympathy and money. Anywhooo...Mom says "Unbelievable. Just another example of the black cloud that hangs over that boy's head."

Well.....I don't have to tell you that I find the "black cloud" to be entirely self-induced. I think he is consumed with anger, guilt, shame, self-loathing and it just oozes out of him. So I think he attracts the same negative energy to himself. Negativity breeds negativity. And I also think he enjoys it in a "this is a familiar pattern and where I'm comfortable existing" kind of way. I believe he needs the drama, the tragedy, the sympathy of my mother. (oooh....hmmm....did he feel deprived of sympathy from her in his early years??) He wants to be a martyr. He feeds on the negative attention. This is his dance with my mother. "I fall. You rescue."

And I think this will be his life until the day, *IF* the day ever comes, when he faces his past and his demons.


Enola said...

I had to snicker at your snickering at the bad things that happen to him. I talked about that at my T session last night. I snicker at things like that too!

Angel said...

I so agree about that karma. I love her!

Tink said...

So your brother and my sister are really two peas in a pod, aren't they?