Friday, February 29, 2008

I wave the white flag on this week....

...for it has entirely kicked my ass.
I am one person and I'm so tired of functioning as two (possibly three!) employees and as two parents, and trying to keep up with everything life throws at me. I'm worn down. I'm in pain. I feel like I just climbed up a mountain and got plowed down by a truck at the top of it. I'm in a bit of a fog. And I can't decide if I should cancel all plans this weekend and be a hermit or if getting out of the house is the smartest thing I can do. Frankly, I've had my fill of "alone time" with DD. I love her and all....but a Mom needs a break, ya know??

Yesterday was just rough even after the Dr appt. She was crabby the rest of the day. We did manage some quiet snuggle time which was nice. But there were fights over going out to get medicine, what to have for dinner, taking a bath, going to bed. I asked her if she wanted to call Gramma before bed and she said, with the most dramatic sigh and laying her head back on the couch "No, mama. She makes me so tired!" I said "I know the feeling, kid!!" It was too funny.

Anyway, I was up late last night trying to get a few things done. But my arm just hurts so much, it's so hard to do anything. I was laughing as I was doing laundry.....the puke load out of the dryer as the poop load goes in......wonder what will be next! It's a veritable lottery of bodily functions..... Had trouble sleeping as the arm seems to get worse at night and also b/c DD kept making noises which put me on edge waiting to see what will follow. This AM was just fight, fight, fight, fight trying to get DD ready. I know she's tired and not feeling well so I cut her alot of slack at these times but she took it too far and I scolded her which of course escalated her meltdown which then led to MY meltdown. I had to go in my bedroom and bury my head under a pillow to scream and drown out her crying for a few minutes.

I gave her a bagel in the car just to keep her quiet and occupied. Frankly, I would have given her filet mignon and a chocolate layer cake to keep her quiet at that point. Good thing she only asked for a bagel ;o) But she'd fallen asleep in her seat by the time we got to daycare and don't you know it was more fight, fight, fight to get her out of the car and into school. And then she was having a meltdown about being there so I hung out with her for a while til she warmed up and was 45 minutes late for work. Only to come in here and be assaulted with problems, problems, problems. I just give up. I want to crawl under a rock.

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