Pure Joy

My DD's name loosely translates to the title of this post....pure joy. Well, she's 3 1/2 years old so she may not be PURE joy all the time (wink) but she is the light of my life, for sure. She's sick this morning. My friend J came over yesterday and spent the night. She and I headed upstairs to go to bed around 1am and DD woke up. Said she wanted to sleep in my bed with me. So I let her. Only to be woken up early this morning by the telltale noise that shoots every mother out of bed in a fraction of a second. *hurk* Popped up and shoved my hands under her mouth to catch handfuls of puke. As she started to heave again, I (gross, sorry) wiped it on my shirt, grabbed her to run to the bathroom which of course resulted in a stream of puke all over my bed, walls, carpet, closet, bathroom floor and rug with about a teaspoon ended up in the toilet before she was done. *sigh* Goooooooood Morning!! Cleaned it up, gave her a bath, still working on the laundry......

We're now sitting on the couch together. She can't even keep down pedialyte so there have been a few more, much smaller, episodes. As we're laying here, I just look at her......so beautiful. So unbelievably precious, she takes my breath away. So innocent. So trusting. I love to touch her, hug her, snuggle with her, hold her little hands. I love to rub her back and her legs and feet. Touch her chubby cheek, her little upturned nose, her smooth forehead. Love to twist her hair and bounce her headful of curls. I'm obsessed with her little belly button, which seems half innie, half outie, because I know that is where she and I were attached as she grew inside my body. I love this child something crazy. I adore her with everything I am. I cannot fathom not feeling this way about my baby.

I guess sometimes the depth of my indescribable love for her overwhelms me and it hits me that much harder how my parents could act the ways they did. What happened in them that they were unable to feel this pure joy and protect me like the gift I was? How any parent could hurt a child. I will never, never, never ever comprehend.