Wednesday, March 12, 2008

21 Days & Update

Health Update: I've been kindof sick the last few days. I went to my Dr yesterday just for a meds check in but it was perfect timing. She's scratching her head at me a little bit. Not sure what I've got! I sound like I have bronchitis but I don't feel like it. No chest heaviness. No cold symptoms. No fever or flu. But I have this horrendous barking cough and am wheezing something awful. She RXed antibiotics first but thinks it may be viral in which case AB's won't help. She also put me on an Albuterol inhaler and on Mucinex. I am to go back Friday and if I'm not getting better, she will have to put me on steroids. Before I left the office, she had the nurse do a breathing treatment....the nebulizer kind. I was still wheezing when it was done so I had to do another. Can you say SHAKING LIKE A MADWOMAN????? I had to sit in the car and compose myself for a while before I felt safe to drive! And where did I drive to next? Starbucks of course.....because here's hoping that Albuterol jitters and Espresso jitters will cancel each other out. :o) Ask me how well that plan panned out..........

In any case, between jitters and coughing, I had a rough time sleeping. Today, I've been doing the inhaler as prescribed and I am wheezing again within 10 minutes. Good times.

My mother comes over tonight. I'm ready to give her the advice she requested, I think. Not sure if I will bring it up if she does not. I just may not have the energy today. But I'm preparing for it nonetheless.

And now for the 21 Days part: I was watching something that said it takes 21 days for a habit to be formed. 21 Days of the same behavior day after day. So I've decided that, one day at a time, I will make it through 21 days of victory over my addiction. I think I'm going to start referring to my addiction as "VOMA" (Voice Of My Addiction) and keeping that picture I posted in my mind. I guess it makes me feel like it's more tangible and hence "easier" to fight when I think of it in such concrete terms, as opposed to just this "feeling" that resides inside of me. I have made 2 days now. March 30 will be 21 days. Come hell or worse-than-hell, I will make it through 21 days. And that's the only time frame I am going to worry about for now. I'm going to make my list of distracting activities and put each on a piece of paper in a basket so that if I feel the urge to listen to VOMA, I will immediately be presented with something else to do and I won't have to put any thought into coming up with something if I'm feeling confused or overwhelmed. I can do this. And frankly, if I ~can't~ do this, then I belong in a rehab facility. I claim my power. I own it. I'm workin' it!!

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