Saturday, March 15, 2008

Mom, Health & 21 Days: Updates

Mom Update: I did send her an email to be sure she was alright after the other night at my house. She wrote back in an email entitled "If you're okay, I'll be okay" Blech. Doormat. I ended up talking to her on the phone the following day. We talked a little more about it and I basically told her she needs to assert control of the situation while respecting DD's reasonable boundaries. Mom went on to talk about how bad she felt when DD shut herself in a closet so Mom continued to try to coax her out. I told her to think about what she was saying in light of all I'd told her. (Silence) She didn't get it. I reminded her that DD needs space sometimes and if she's shutting herself in a closet to be alone, her more subtle requests for privacy have been ignored. I told Mom that her feeling bad about DD wanting to be alone is HER OWN issue and she needs to put that into perspective and know that DD is simply TRYING to take care of her own needs but my Mother is blatantly ignoring her and doing the worst thing possible. I reiterated a few times how DD is so much like me. I lightheartedly said "You've done this before!!" to which my mother answered "Well, you see how well I did it the first time around!" I told her this was her chance to learn from her mistakes. You know, there are times I really want to hug my Mom and empathize with her for a pretty crappy past. And I'm sad for her that she's not able to live a full life based in reality. If I can separate for a minute about the ways that it's impacted me, I just might give her that hug after all. There are parts of her I really love and admire. There are parts of her I really loathe and despise. It's so hard to balance the whole thing out.

Health: Went to the Dr again yesterday to be basically diagnosed as Viral Bronchitis. I'm on double steroids (one oral, one inhaled) as well as finishing out the prior meds she prescribed (anti biotics & inhaler). I don't feel horrible but I sound it. Undecided about my ability of singing at church tomorrow AM.

21 Days: I'm 75% of the way through day 6 and feeling great. No cravings, no real desire to binge. I must say that I've been MUCH more easily irritated and assume this is the cause. But I'm not sure. I have more energy. My joints feel better. I just feel better all over. Take THAT, "VOMA", and shove it!!!!! Mwaaahahahahahahahahahaaa!!!

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